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Tuesday, August 19, 2003

anyway. this entry is not relevant to nybt lahz. juz wanted to get this out of me. skip this entry if u wan to. its juz a way of venting my feelings. sick n tired of complaining to some "unfortunate" victims that always listen to my whining and sick n tired of struggling to keep it all in. anyway. cindy. sorry :$ i dunno why i exploded juz now. hmm. mite be pms. anyway. cos i couldn't stand it anymore. i mean. not u not going out with us lahz. budden its like u're always bz w/ council stuff n blah. n then u nv like.. try to contribute to the team. ok i noe this sounds bad but i dunno how to put it in milder words. n then mabbe its the guilt of not making the sec 4s prezzie properly which adds on to this. i think i'm a total failure. sigh. when i got back math quiz today was kinda stunned. its the first time i failed anything concerning math. but that day when we were doing the quiz it was like my mind was a blank. couldn't concentrate. i scanned the qns. and thot to myself. who cares? i wanted to hand in bai juan tt time. but i noe i won dui de qi zi ji. so i tried. n i couldn't stop thinking bout things.. well ppl that were reli affecting me at that time. so i did reli badly. sigh. i regret!!! but its too late. i found out that i could do both the qns today when i got back. wanted to do sth drastic. somemore lim yuan brought knife.. haiz. temptation. haha. i noe i sound reli screwed. but. u noe.. stretch a rubber band too far n it'll break. n who'll it hurt? the person who pulled it. well. there were many things that were "pulling" at me. haiz. anyway. haha. i promise i wouldn't cry over anything anymore. :) esp ppl who r out to hurt me. deep. haha. i'm glad i could stick to my promise. i din cry!! :) i think i so wei da. :P ok. *shh* well i did cry once lahz. but it was juz once. muahaha. :P anyway. u noe. i dunno who reads this blog.. but i'm juz gonna say wat i think lahz. but i'll leave names out. i'll use alphabets. this way no link lah u c. A.. this is wat i think about u. u're scared. SCARED of ppl looking down on u. so u try to go to extremes to make them like u. furthermore. u're fake. u always criticise ppl. but like. u're doing it TOO! so looking at it another way u're criticising urself. n u're "evil". not evil in the very worst sense. but u noe. making frens for the motive of showing those around u that u r popular isn't a very good way of keepin ur frens when u've made them. frenship is fragile. as we all noe. also. don use ur frens. why do u hafta blackmouth ur frens? if u don like them, don be frens with them. be like suelynn(no offence to u my dear.) if u don like them. don pretend that u do. show them u don. well. not exactly show. but don be fake ms little sugar dripping saccharine sweet honey. its disgusting. i'll rather u be honest with me than to spread bad rumours bout me. not that i'm not used to it. but it hurts coming from sum1 u tot u cld be lifelong frens at first. reli. i'm not saying this to hurt u. but i juz wanna get it out of my system once n for alll. so i can concentrate on wat's impt too... --> the exams. anyway. moving on to B. u're slightly better. well. haha. mabbe lots better compared to her. budden its like. u noe. if u don agree with her. juz speak up! i mean like. its better than keeping it all in and tolerating sth that u don like. well. that's pretty much all of it. so u can see the large extent. i'm not trying to say anything mean. i juz think that. u noe. mabbe it seems ok to u. but u may be ignorant of ppl's feelings at time. we LIVE LIFE only once. so why not go thru it with sincerity n trust? that's the best thing any fren can give to me. and to all my frens out there. whether past present (or future?).. i love ya. i LOVE ya lots! whether i've lost contact. or don wanna speak to u. but in my heart. u're all my frens. i wish u all the best in ur life. take care.. :) muacks.

we're hot. 8:28 PM

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